


i never wanted to get close

by KicktheMatt



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: AND GAY, M/M, Now with smut!, This is completely self indulgent, like 98 percent fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:18:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9853370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KicktheMatt/pseuds/KicktheMatt
Summary: Alfonse and Kiran are GAY.But seriously:Alfonse never wanted to get close to the Summoner with the addictive laugh, the intoxicating smile, and beautiful personality. The heart works in funny ways.(A collection of drabbles that depict Alfonse and Kiran's relationship.)





	1. he's cute.

**Author's Note:**

> note:
> 
> Kiran has ashy brown skin and bright red hair. His eyes are green. He has freckles and adores nicknames. He's also the smoothest mfer out there,,,,rip Al

Alfonse made a joke. _A joke_.

After the joke, Kiran smiled and giggled. He covered his mouth with his sleeve to hide the smile. Alfonse felt his cheeks flush as the summoner giggled.  Alfonse forced it down, though. No need to get close. He didn't want to get close...but he felt his heart pounding, and the need to kiss Kiran was stronger than ever. 

_Gods, what am I doing?_

He repressed the thoughts. This was no time for Alfonse to get flustered.

"Oh my gosh, Al, I never knew you had a sense of humor!" Kiran said as he giggled more.

"Haha..yeah..." Alfonse blushed more. He was a mess.

Kiran put his sleeve down. "You need to joke more. Lighten up."

That seemed to sober him up. "With a country to run and a war on our hands, 'lightening up' can't happen often." Nailed it.

Kiran's eyebrow raised in suspicion. "I bet you're quite the joke-ster under your responsible exterior. I'm gonna crack it," The summoner stuck his tongue out playfully. "For now, I was requested to summon some more Heroes. Catch'ya later, Allie?"

Alfonse nodded absentmindedly as the summoner bounced away with a wave. As soon as Kiran was out of sight and listening distance, Alfonse put his head in his hands, groaning. "Damn it. He's cute."

_So very cute._


	2. he's a dork, oh my gosh

Kiran gazed at the map, a hand on his chin. Alfonse stood next to him, trying to figure out where the best position of the Heroes would be. "If we move the archers here..." Alfonse began, starting to move colorless figures, but was cut off by Kiran.

"Good idea, but then that opens up the enemy mages to go in and destroy them. Maybe send in some sword users to protect?" Kiran grabbed some red figures and placed them at the edges of the colorless ones.

"That's smart. Then we could--"

"--Move the ax wielders here."

The two reached for the same green figure, brushing hands. Alfonse went red, pulling away his hand quickly and knocking over some pieces on the map. Kiran gazed at him through the corner of his eye and smiled to himself.

"...Great minds think alike, huh?" Kiran asked.

Alfonse was still flustered, leaving him to sputter out a "yeah" and look down to hide his cheeks.

_He's cute. What a dork._

Kiran's eyes went wide for a second, before he focused back on the map.

_Shit, I'm gay._


	3. but i don't want to hurt again

It was tradition for the Askr siblings that when the first flowers bloomed in the spring, they would go make flower crowns. It was childish, but it kept the two sane during the high stress war.

Alfonse never expected that Kiran would join them.

_Gods, why now?_

"C'mon, it'll be fine!" Sharena said, her optimistic tone as evident as ever. "Do you have a problem with him? Or is it--"

"I don't! But you know how I am around the Heroes..."

There was a pause. "He reminds you of Zacharias, doesn't he?"

Alfonse glared at his sister with icy eyes. "It's no matter. Get the summoner, let's go."

Sharena took a step away, then turned. "You've become so cold. I don't know if you're actually my brother anymore." She continued towards a tent that belonged to Kiran, opening the flap and walking in.

Alfonse stared after her.

_Cold?_

Kiran bounced out of the tent, a smile on his face.

_I...I don't want to be cold._

Kiran turned, and his smile softened as he saw Alfonse. The prince looked away.

_I just don't want to hurt again._

 


	4. but he'd never like me

The trio walked through a green field, where the new flower buds were just starting to open. Sharena was looking around, trying to find a good spot for flower picking. Kiran and Alfonse simply followed her. Alfonse had his head down, his gaze locked on his feet. He seemed deep in thought. The summoner coughed slightly, catching the attention of the navy-haired prince. "You seem focused on something. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking."

"Okay..." Kiran said. "Thinkin' 'bout what?"

Alfonse shrugged. "Things."

It was obvious Kiran wasn't getting much out of the prince.

Sharena ran back to the two, a bouquet already in her hands. "Found a good spot!"

Kiran smiled, bouncing on his feet. "Aw, yes! Good job, Shar!" The summoner turned towards Alfonse. "Ready for the flower-crown-making of a lifetime?"

Alfonse nodded. Sharena began to lead Kiran towards the flower spot, and Alfonse followed after.

After a while, they had a few crowns finished. Kiran's was full of pink, blue, and white flowers. It worked strangely well with his bright hair. Sharena's was just pink, and Alfonse's was blue. Kiran was beginning to get antsy from sitting for so long, so he stood up, ready to go back to the camp.

"You two go on ahead, I'm gonna make some more crowns for the Heroes," Sharena said, grinning.

"Okay! See you back at camp!" Kiran said, starting to walk down the path they came. Alfonse followed, a step behind.

They were mostly silent, until Kiran spotted a bit of woods. He started towards the trees, itching for some fun. Alfonse watched the summoner stray from the path. "Kiran?" He asked, following him a couple steps.

By then, Kiran was already halfway up a tree. "C'mon! It'll be fun!" He called down to the prince. He held a hand out, holding onto one limb, to help Alfonse into the tree.

The prince looked from Kiran's hand to the tree. "Fine, but if I fall--"

"You won't," Kiran interjected. "I'll make sure of it."

Kiran could've sworn he saw Alfonse smile as he grabbed Kiran's hand, being pulled into the tree. The two guided through the limbs until they settles on a strong branch, one that could hold both of them. They sat, watching over the field and the setting sun. Kiran kicked his legs back and forth, watching the oranges and pinks of the sky.

"The sunset is pretty," Kiran said, attempting to start conversation.

Alfonse nodded. "It is. It's very vibrant, especially away from the castle and other towns."

"What's your favorite color in the sunset?" Kiran asked.

"Probably orange. And yours?"

Kiran looked out towards the sun again. The sky above was slowly turning into a deep indigo. Kiran pointed it out. "The indigo. Some people believe that indigo means great devotion, wisdom, and justice with fairness," The summoner looked back towards Alfonse. "That meaning reminds me of you, to be perfectly honest. You're indigo."

Alfonse's eyes met Kiran's. The prince took a shaky breath, gripping the bark of the tree before turning his head away. "I'm not as much like indigo as you perceive me, y'know."

Kiran shrugged. "What color would you say I am?"

"Red," Alfonse said. "More than just for your hair."

The summoner laughed. "Red is a color associated with war and danger. Am I dangerous to you?" Kiran asked jokingly.

Alfonse shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips. "Not at all."

Kiran felt a light blush dust his cheeks. 

_He's cute when he smiles. Here we go, more gay thoughts._

"It also means strength, determination, and passion," Kiran added.

"That's exactly what I see out of you," Alfonse said. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, Kiran."

It usually took a lot for Kiran to blush red, but with Alfonse looking out on the world, complimenting Kiran, and looking really attractive in the dying light, it didn't take long for Kiran to get flustered. "O-Oh."

"Was that too personal?" Alfonse asked, worry lacing his tone.

"Not at all...I just, uh, don't take compliments like that very well, heh..."

_Me? One of the strongest people he's met? What the shit. I'm gay. I'm so very gay._

As the last of the light was showing, Alfonse cleared his throat. "Anyway, we should probably get back to camp before it's too dark."

"Y-Yeah," Kiran stammered. The two climbed down the tree, beginning the last of their journey back to camp.

_I really like him. I really, really do._

_I know he'd never like me, though. Who could like me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kiran's crown was the trans flag btw ;w;


	5. i'm so happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS GAy and also not the end

He wasn't sure when the nightmares started.

All Alfonse could see when they happened was a white cloak stained blood red. He knew exactly what it meant, though: Kiran was dead.

He would wake up, gasping for air, unable to go back to sleep. It would be early morning, early enough that nobody was awake. He would dress and walk out of camp, out towards the tree where they had their conversation about colors. For a while, he just sat at the base and thought about telling Kiran about the nightmares, but always convinced himself not to. 

_There's no need to make him worried._

One night, after the nightmare, Alfonse walked out to the tree to find the familiar white cloak on the ground, and Kiran sitting on top of it. Alfonse approached slowly, not sure how to approach the summoner. As he got closer, he heard the summoner speaking.

"...not sure what to do anymore. I don't know... I want to tell him, but...he'd never reciprocate, mom."

Alfonse felt himself grown more curious.

Kiran took a deep breath. "I love him. I know that. Al wouldn't love me back, though. It hurts a lot. What should I do?"

There was silence, until Alfonse spoke up. "How do you know?"

Kiran nearly jumped out of his skin, standing and turning towards the prince. "What the-- oh, shit," Kiran said. "I, uh, fuck, um...how much did you hear?" In his hand was a crumpled piece of paper.

"Enough," Alfonse took a few steps towards the summoner. "You...love me?"

"Y-Yeah..." Kiran looked down, embarrassed. "I, uh, have for a while." Kiran grabbed onto his own arms, almost hugging himself. He brought one hand up to cover his mouth.

Alfonse grabbed onto Kiran's wrist, bringing his hand away from his mouth. Kiran furiously avoided his gaze, a bright red blush on his cheeks. Alfonse used his other hand to move Kiran's focus, so that the summoner was looking directly into his eyes. "Kiran...why did you think I wouldn't reciprocate?"

The summoner looked like he was about to cry. He forced his head down. "I...I don't know. I don't see anything good about myself, I didn't think you would see anything good either."

"Never. Gods, Kiran, I think you're perfect!" The words fell out of Alfonse's mouth before he could stop. "You're thoughtful, and handsome, and caring, and you're funny, and adorable, and attractive, the list goes on!"

"I'm not any of those things," Kiran choked out. 

"Stop lying. I love you," Alfonse said, pulling Kiran closer. "I've been denying it for a while, but gods, Kiran, I can't imagine a life without you at this point."

Kiran looked up at Alfonse, tears staining his cheeks. "You do?"

"Of course," Alfonse wiped away a tear on Kiran's cheek. "I wouldn't lie to you, Kiran." 

Alfonse lifted Kiran's chin, bringing his lips to the summoner's. Kiran's eyes closed, and Alfonse's did soon after. Kiran's hand went up to Alfonse's cheek, cupping it. Alfonse felt a fluttering in his chest, and tingling in the spots where Kiran touched him. The world seemed to stop. They broke apart and came back together again and again, until they both needed to pull away for air. Kiran pressed their foreheads together, bringing his hand down, looking the prince in the eyes.

"...Holy shit," Kiran said, mystified.

Alfonse brought his hands to Kiran's hips. "I adore you. I love you. Never doubt that for a second, okay?"

Kiran smiled. "I love you too," The summoner grabbed both of Alfonse's hands and laced their fingers together. He looked out towards the horizon. "There's still and hour or two before sunrise. What do you wanna do? Because if you have no suggestions, I'm so ready to go back to camp and sleep. Wanna join me?"

"Sure," Alfonse said, squeezing Kiran's hands slightly. 

As the two walked back to camp hand-in-hand, there was one thought on both of their minds:

 _I'm so happy I did it_. 


	6. i'll help any way i can

The war was won. Veronica was defeated. Peace was restored.

And Kiran was leaving.

"You guys don't need me anymore," The summoner said, remorse in his eyes. "I don't need to be here."

_I need you._

Alfonse remembered hearing the news, that the one who had his heart was leaving Askr, and closing himself in his chambers. He found himself lying on his bed, staring at the wall, deaf to the world. He felt numb, like someone had taken all feeling from his body, other than a gap in his chest, where his heart was supposed to be.

It had been a around a day when Kiran finally got the courage to find Alfonse. The summoner walked into the bedchamber, seeing the figure of his love curled in on himself, as his world collapsed around him. "A-Al?" Kiran stammered, unsure of what to do.

Alfonse stayed silent. Kiran sighed, taking a couple steps towards the bed, then sitting on the edge. "I...I don't know what to say--"

"Why are you leaving now?" Alfonse muttered.

"Do you want the truth?" Kiran asked. "Or the answer I'm trying to convince myself of?"

"The truth."

Kiran took a deep breath. "I've been...thinking. And I thought that since you're a prince, you should be with someone who's...y'know, royalty. Not someone like me. In my world, I'm basically the equivalent of a peasant. I'm a nobody. I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve someone as low as me. I thought it would be best if I left...that way you could find some other prince or princess to marry. Carry on the throne, kind of thing. You shouldn't be burdened with me."

"Do you think I care that you're a peasant?" Alfonse had sat up on his own side of the bed.

"Al..."

"Really? Do you think that I think your social status  _matter_ _s_? You're Kiran-- not some peasant. I would gladly give up royalty if it meant being with you. If I had to leave Askr, leave my post as crown prince, just so I could marry you, I would in a heartbeat."

Tears were filling Kiran's eyes. "You--"

"No, I'm not done. I adore you with everything I have. I love you for you. You're my heart, Kiran. I need you. You're not a burden to me. You're a blessing."

Kiran was crying without end. "Al...I love you so much, I don't want to leave, I don't want to bring down your status, I don't want to hurt you, I just want to love you and be with you, but I...I..." The summoner had broken down more. 

Alfonse had crawled over the bed to Kiran, pulling the redhead to him. "Please never worry about my status or anything about hurting me. I just want you to be happy. Gods, you deserve happiness Kiran. You deserve all of the happiness in the world, and if I could, I would give it to you in an instant."

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Al...I hate myself too much to want happiness. I hurt you by wanting to leave. I hurt you and I can never forgive myself." Kiran clutched onto Alfonse's shirt, the front already soaked in tears.

"Then I'll love you for both of us. I'll love you until you can love yourself just as much. But you need to try, okay? I'll hold you when you feel down about yourself, but you'll need to tell yourself that you're an amazing person who deserves happiness. And I know you'll have rough days, but we'll get through them together. But only if you want me to," Alfonse said. "I'm letting you stay, or letting you leave. Whatever you feel like is best."

"I-I'm staying." Kiran looked up at Alfonse. "I never truly wanted to leave in the first place."

Alfonse smiled softly. "I'm glad," He placed a small kiss on Kiran's lips. "I would've missed you so much," He murmured.

"But you truly mean it? That you're going to help me love myself?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

Kiran blushed. "No, just...not used to it. Most people would drop me as soon as they found out my self-esteem was negative."

"I'm not like most people, then," Alfonse tucked a tuft of fiery red hair behind Kiran's ear, afterwards cupping his cheek.

Kiran leaned forward, resting his forehead against Alfonse's. "That's good, that you're not like most people. You would be terribly boring, then." The summoner cracked a small smile.

Alfonse let out an amused hum, stealing a kiss from Kiran's lips again. "I hope I never become boring. I love you," The prince said.

"I love you, too."

_I'll always be here for you, Kiran._

_Please, always be here for me, too._

 


	7. i want to make you feel good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL RATING WENT UP
> 
> also dominant Kiran???in my fic???  
> it's more likely than you think.
> 
> (it's 4 am bear with me)

Alfonse let out a sigh as a piece of his armor hit the floor. His cape was already off, and the weight on his shoulders seemed to lesson gradually.

“Rough day, huh?” Kiran asked, walking up behind the prince and wrapping his arms around Alfonse. Kiran’s cloak was abandoned on the floor.

Alfonse hummed, meeting Kiran’s hands with his own and interlocking their fingers. “Definitely. Even with the war over, there's still so much to negotiate…”

Kiran, being shorter than Alfonse by over half a foot, had his forehead pressed into Alfonse’s shoulder. “You're so tense, you need to relax.”

“Yes, but I'm afraid that relaxation doesn't come easy for me at times like these,” Alfonse said, letting out another defeated sigh.

“I can fix that,” Kiran said in a seductive tone, simultaneously piquing Alfonse’s interest and slightly scaring him. “You'll be nice and relaxed after I'm through with you.” The summoner’s hands had already starting drifting down, and the further they got, the hotter Alfonse felt.

“O-Okay,” Alfonse stuttered at Kiran turned him and sat him in a chair. The redheaded summoner put one hand on either side of Alfonse, on the armrests of the chair, and put one knee between Alfonse’s legs. The prince’s breath was hot and heavy already. His cheeks were bright red, and he was avoiding Kiran’s half-lidded gaze. The summoner had enough, lifting a hand and pushing Alfonse’s face to look to him.

“Hey, I won't do anything you won't like, okay?” He said, pressing their foreheads together. “If you don't like it, I can stop. If you're not 100% into it, I'll stop, just give the word. I just want you to feel good. Alright?”

Alfonse nodded. “Alright.”

Kiran hummed and smiled, pecking Alfonse’s lips tenderly. “I love you,” He said, cupping Alfonse’s face with both hands.

The prince had no time to respond, for it seemed as soon as the words left Kiran’s mouth he was already back to where he was previously, hands gripping armrests soon to strong thighs. Alfonse’s eyes met Kiran’s for a moment, and Kiran smiled. “You're so cute with that passionate desire look in your eyes,” Kiran purred. The summoner leaned forward, pressing his lips to Alfonse’s neck. This alone sent a shiver down Alfonse’s spine, catching his breath and instinctively tangling his hand into Kiran’s hair. The summoner hummed, leaving a trail of light kisses along Alfonse’s jaw, then starting to unbutton his shirt, exposing the rest of Alfonse’s neck and collarbone. Kiran’s mouth worked like magic, nipping here and there until lightly biting on Alfonse’s collarbone. The prince gasped as the summoner continued sucking and biting on the spot, leaving a purple bruise in his wake.

Kiran’s hands were slowly trailing down Alfonse’s chest as he moved his lips to meet the prince's. Alfonse was like putty in Kiran’s hands and lips, formed however the summoner wanted him to be. Kiran’s hands dipped below the prince’s waistband, pulling his pants down to expose his erection. Cool air met warm skin, having Alfonse’s breath hitch. Kiran's hand was already around Alfonse’s shaft, moving in a pumping motion. Kiran’s thumb passed over Alfonse’s slit and the prince let out an embarrassing moan into Kiran’s mouth. The summoner smiled, pulling his mouth away and looking at his prince, a hot mess under his hands. With every pump, Alfonse’s hips bucked, and he would try to stifle his moans into his hand. It seemed that the prince was coming close to an end, so Kiran let go, ducked down, and with one half-lidded glance at Alfonse, took him into his mouth. Alfonse’s other hand moved to join his first in Kiran’s hair, nothing to hold back his pleasured moans now. Kiran’s head bobbed a few times before Alfonse let out a cry, riding into his orgasm, coming all inside Kiran’s mouth. For the most part, Kiran swallowed, wiping some of the excess off his lips and looking up at a very flustered, very cute Alfonse.

“Hey, cutie, are you relaxed now?” Kiran asked, rising and placing a kiss on Alfonse’s cheek.

The prince nodded, catching Kiran’s lips. “I had _no idea_ you could do that.”

Kiran smiled. “It's one of my many, many secret talents,” He said, pushing away and walking to a wash bowl on the dresser on the other side. “You may wanna change. I won't look, unless you want me to!” Kiran’s seductive tone was back, making Alfonse all flustered again.

“A-Ah..” He stuttered, nervously.

“Just kidding. Kind of.” Kiran washed and waited a minute before turning back around, slightly disappointed that Alfonse was already fully dressed.

Alfonse crossed the room, his hands immediately going to Kiran’s hips. “One day you need to let me return the favor.”

Kiran paused, then wrapped his arms around Alfonse. “I'll think about it, Al,” Kiran said, resting his head against Alfonse’s chest.

The prince held him like that for a moment, before Kiran pulled away and yawned. “Tired?” Alfonse asked, a smile crossing his lips.

“Strangely so,” Kiran replied. “It seems I am so tired that I simply can't walk!” Kiran’s smug look said all it needed for Alfonse, for the prince picked up his summoner bridal style and brought him to their shared bed. Kiran got under the covers and waited for Alfonse, then almost immediately snuggling into the prince’s chest. “Did I make you feel good?” Kiran murmured.

“Very,” Alfonse replied, kissing the top of Kiran’s head.

“That's good...goodnight, Al. I love you.”

“Goodnight, I love you more.”


End file.
